DC talk could have been right

i love being in the dark. literally, not figuratively. i actually can't stand anything more than being the only one present without a clue. but there is just something about being in the darkness. i find sitting on the back porch swing after sundown utterly irresistible, especially with guitar in hand. it doesn't matter that the noise produced by the friction of my fingers on those strings isn't pleasurable for other people's ears; i like it. other times i enjoy absolute darkness include bedtime, movie time, naptime, class time, wintertime, well...most of the time. but why?
aren't i supposed to want to be in the light, just as He is in the light? and no, that is not a lame reference to DC talk but rather to 1 john 1:7. the problem with light is that it exposes...EVERYTHING. it's natural to flip on the light switch when you walk into a dark house to make sure nobody is hiding in there or to grab for a flashlight when packing for a camping trip. when the electricity goes out, it's typical to light a candle. we want to see what's around us so that we don't stub our toe on a chair or run into another person. our reliance is on the light. but if i get in the light, you'll be able to see me. all of me. and i'm afraid of how you'll respond.

nightmares & charlie horses

cranky hardly describes my mood of choice this past week. i'm sorry if i snapped at you or ignored you since it's extremely likely i did both. last night ushered excitement that this morning would be a new day and i was going to do whatever it took to make sure my demeanor reflected a positive one. too bad i had nightmares and woke up at six a.m. with a charlie horse in my left calf. due to such unfortunate events, i skipped my eight o'clock class (which really isn't out of the ordinary)but i had to get to the bottom of my antagonistic attitude.

it is now i realize the importance of the people i worship with. many of them have been the epitome of cynical but have also shown me what real compassion looks like. day in and day out. they remind me to laugh at life and when i get caught up in those meticulous details, it's my church family that helps me to rectify the proper perspective. my existence isn't my own or atleast it shouldn't be.

so, thanks guys and hopefully i'll see you all a little more this week!

good samaritans

when i step from my front door to the porch, i can't see the street. not because i'm visually impaired but because our weeds almost reach my shoulder. they're top heavy enough now that they are beginning to bend over. i was hoping the weight would cause them to break and keep me from having to pull out the lawn mower. however, dave beat john and justin to the punch...he's supposed to cut our grass this week. thanks guys.

unsure

i am totally unsure about this progressive revelation idea. we are discussing it dr. smith's christian doctrine class and have our first preceptorial on tuesday. i find myself still struggling with the concept and trying to digest as much information as my little brain can handle. why don't you throw your opinions around for me to chew on as well?

JUMP

JUMP by Van Halen was definitely the No. 1 song on the charts March 7, 1984 (go ahead and do the math, i'm a kid).

I get up, and nothing gets me down.
You got it tough. I’ve seen the toughest around.
And I know, baby, just how you feel.
You’ve got to roll with the punches to get to what’s real
Oh can’t you see me standing here,
I’ve got my back against the record machine
I ain’t the worst that you’ve seen.
Oh can’t you see what I mean ?
Might as well jump. jump !Might as well jump.
Go ahead, jump. jump !Go ahead, jump.
Aaa-ohh hey you ! how said that ?
Baby how you been ?
You say you don’t know, you won’t know
Until we begin.
Well can’t you see me standing here,
I’ve got my back against the record machine
I ain’t the worst that you’ve seen.
Oh can’t you see what I mean ?
Might as well jump. jump !Go ahead, jump.
Might as well jump. jump !Go ahead, jump.

Anyway, none of that matters I just thought it was interesting.

I wonder why we create formulas for "success"? Really, all we're doing is setting ourselves up for disappointment since formulas are nothing more than false hopes. If you ate exactly the way your nutritionist told you to and performed all the exercises your personal trainer instructed you to do, you still might have a small pudge. If there were a secret, or formula if you will, to being skinny then there would be no need for the gym anymore. If all those get rich quick schemes truly work, then why is poverty still rampant? But scariest of all, I'm afraid we've tried to force salvation into a formula. Walk the aisle, say "the prayer" (or let your pastor say it for you) , and you're saved -- going to heaven! It's about more than that though. It's about going on a journey with the Creator. Ugh, so i'm frustrated and don't feel like finishing this.

goodnight friends.

my favorite thing about hebrew

freshmen are cool. they get to stay up late now and talk about "back when they were in high school." i'm crushed that i only have one class with the darlings. there is something special about sharing an upper level class with seventeen and eighteen year olds sporting purple and yellow beanies...those are the really cool kids. maybe next semester when they've mastered life, i'll have atleast one in every class.