forgotten territory

I'm sure no one reads this these days, even I forgot about this spot until Mom asked me about it. Maybe it's better off if no one reads it, then I'll feel that I can freely toss around my thoughts without wondering who will be offended. Anyway, I'm a mommy now. It is the biggest challenge I've ever faced, and the most joy I've ever felt! Jaycen & I are still in Abilene, but hopefully not for too much longer. I'll leave you with a few simple joys of mine:
*the way Jackson loooves her daddy
*how Jackson tries to make us laugh
*using Johnson's head-to-toe body wash...for ME!
and
*pineapple-orchid candles from B&B Works


.peace.love.happiness.
brandi

WICKED

I got to see WICKED this past week at Play Fair in Dallas. They will be there through this weekend then they're touring to Houston. If you get the opportunity to go, GO! It's by far one of the best musicals I've seen (next to Aida, of course!) I'll leave you with the lyrics to For Good.

ELPHABA:
I'm limited
(Just look at me)
I'm limited
And just look at you
You can do all I couldn't do, Glinda
So now it's up to you
(For both of us)
Now it's up to you...

GLINDA:
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return

Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

ELPHABA:
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart

And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a sky bird
In a distant wood

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you

GLINDA:
Because I knew you

BOTH:
I have been changed for good

ELPHABA:
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the thing I've done you blame me for

GLINDA:
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share

BOTH:
And none of it seems to matter anymore

GLINDA:
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood

ELPHABA:
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a sky bird in a distant wood

BOTH:
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
I do believe I have been changed for the better

GLINDA:
And because I knew you...

ELPHABA:
Because I knew you...

BOTH:Because I knew you...I have been changed for good.

DC talk could have been right

i love being in the dark. literally, not figuratively. i actually can't stand anything more than being the only one present without a clue. but there is just something about being in the darkness. i find sitting on the back porch swing after sundown utterly irresistible, especially with guitar in hand. it doesn't matter that the noise produced by the friction of my fingers on those strings isn't pleasurable for other people's ears; i like it. other times i enjoy absolute darkness include bedtime, movie time, naptime, class time, wintertime, well...most of the time. but why?
aren't i supposed to want to be in the light, just as He is in the light? and no, that is not a lame reference to DC talk but rather to 1 john 1:7. the problem with light is that it exposes...EVERYTHING. it's natural to flip on the light switch when you walk into a dark house to make sure nobody is hiding in there or to grab for a flashlight when packing for a camping trip. when the electricity goes out, it's typical to light a candle. we want to see what's around us so that we don't stub our toe on a chair or run into another person. our reliance is on the light. but if i get in the light, you'll be able to see me. all of me. and i'm afraid of how you'll respond.

nightmares & charlie horses

cranky hardly describes my mood of choice this past week. i'm sorry if i snapped at you or ignored you since it's extremely likely i did both. last night ushered excitement that this morning would be a new day and i was going to do whatever it took to make sure my demeanor reflected a positive one. too bad i had nightmares and woke up at six a.m. with a charlie horse in my left calf. due to such unfortunate events, i skipped my eight o'clock class (which really isn't out of the ordinary)but i had to get to the bottom of my antagonistic attitude.

it is now i realize the importance of the people i worship with. many of them have been the epitome of cynical but have also shown me what real compassion looks like. day in and day out. they remind me to laugh at life and when i get caught up in those meticulous details, it's my church family that helps me to rectify the proper perspective. my existence isn't my own or atleast it shouldn't be.

so, thanks guys and hopefully i'll see you all a little more this week!

good samaritans

when i step from my front door to the porch, i can't see the street. not because i'm visually impaired but because our weeds almost reach my shoulder. they're top heavy enough now that they are beginning to bend over. i was hoping the weight would cause them to break and keep me from having to pull out the lawn mower. however, dave beat john and justin to the punch...he's supposed to cut our grass this week. thanks guys.

unsure

i am totally unsure about this progressive revelation idea. we are discussing it dr. smith's christian doctrine class and have our first preceptorial on tuesday. i find myself still struggling with the concept and trying to digest as much information as my little brain can handle. why don't you throw your opinions around for me to chew on as well?

JUMP

JUMP by Van Halen was definitely the No. 1 song on the charts March 7, 1984 (go ahead and do the math, i'm a kid).

I get up, and nothing gets me down.
You got it tough. I’ve seen the toughest around.
And I know, baby, just how you feel.
You’ve got to roll with the punches to get to what’s real
Oh can’t you see me standing here,
I’ve got my back against the record machine
I ain’t the worst that you’ve seen.
Oh can’t you see what I mean ?
Might as well jump. jump !Might as well jump.
Go ahead, jump. jump !Go ahead, jump.
Aaa-ohh hey you ! how said that ?
Baby how you been ?
You say you don’t know, you won’t know
Until we begin.
Well can’t you see me standing here,
I’ve got my back against the record machine
I ain’t the worst that you’ve seen.
Oh can’t you see what I mean ?
Might as well jump. jump !Go ahead, jump.
Might as well jump. jump !Go ahead, jump.

Anyway, none of that matters I just thought it was interesting.

I wonder why we create formulas for "success"? Really, all we're doing is setting ourselves up for disappointment since formulas are nothing more than false hopes. If you ate exactly the way your nutritionist told you to and performed all the exercises your personal trainer instructed you to do, you still might have a small pudge. If there were a secret, or formula if you will, to being skinny then there would be no need for the gym anymore. If all those get rich quick schemes truly work, then why is poverty still rampant? But scariest of all, I'm afraid we've tried to force salvation into a formula. Walk the aisle, say "the prayer" (or let your pastor say it for you) , and you're saved -- going to heaven! It's about more than that though. It's about going on a journey with the Creator. Ugh, so i'm frustrated and don't feel like finishing this.

goodnight friends.